Single, Saved and Satisfied

Single, Saved and Satisfied without Sex. Is that even possible?

I’ll give you the short answer first. YES!

It is possible to have fun, socialize, enjoy life and not be sexually active. When I say ‘not be sexually active’ I don’t mean just for a season. I mean deciding DAILY to not have sex, of any type, until you’re married.

Yes, it is possible!

Here’s my truth…

Once upon a time, I didn’t think it would be possible for me to be single, saved (for real) and satisfied. In my early to almost late 20’s I actually thought it was corny to not party, drink or have sex. 

A little over three years ago, I was in a situationship. Everything was going great until God told me to stop having sex. I knew it was God and honestly, I only decided to obey Him because it was Him and NOT because I really wanted to.

Now, over three years later, I still have not had sex and it is actually because I don’t want to! I haven’t slipped up, haven’t come physically close, and haven’t gone farther than kissing. PLEASE understand that this is not because I haven’t had any options. That is definitely NOT the case.

I know I am making this sound easier than it has been.

Let me be transparent for a moment. I’ve had my share of struggles. I’ve desired sex, kissing and everything in between. I would be lying if I said I haven’t thought about having sex or had the desire to “just do it” one time and then go back to abstaining, but I make DAILY decisions to not allow those thoughts to pull me back to the place I was in. 

Let me share with you why I will continue to be pure and wait until I am married. 

I was tired of being frustrated with relationships-I gave my body away too many times before I knew my worth. I had been sexually active for years before I eventually decided I was going to value myself more. I was that woman who would have sex prematurely and couldn’t understand why the relationship wouldn’t last or would lead to just sex also known as a situationship. I had made that mistake over and over again and honestly grew frustrated with this cycle. I was and still am worth more than a booty call and a fake relationship however, I had to get my own revelation about my worth and no one else could show me except God. 

My self-esteem increased greatly– Once I canceled out the distraction of sex, I started to literally live my best life. I started to see myself and others more clearly. The rose-colored glasses came off and I was able to identify the differences between Love, Lust & Lies. Living a life of purity has increased my self-worth. I am no longer looking to fill a void with other people. I’ve been in relationships with people where I was upset with them for not seeing my worth. I wanted to feel validated and I didn’t feel that from them but that’s because I didn’t feel that way about myself. I mean I knew I was worth more and deserved more but I was still looking for that person to treat me a certain way. Funny thing is, they were just as jacked up as I was, if not more, therefore they couldn’t give me what I was looking for. Spending time with God and allowing Him to fill all of my voids and address my insecurities has changed the way I feel about myself. 

Spending more time with God absolutely changed my life-As I spent more time with God, he healed me in areas I started to love and invest more time in.

The time I used to spend in situationships was replaced with:

• Connecting with other dope Christians
• Finishing my Masters degree 
• Reading the Bible 
• Starting a blog
• Serving in my church
• Networking for business and ministry 
• Writing my first book
• Starting a business
• Praying more and building a stronger relationship with God…. Just to name a few 

No more time wasted on the wrong one– Don’t you hate wasting your time in dead-end relationships? I definitely do! It’s been so easy to weed out the wrong men and not waste any of my time or theirs. Without sex convoluting my judgement, I was able to see men for the good or bad they approached me with. It eventually got to the point where the wrong men stopped approaching me all together. 

Free from sexual soul ties-Soul ties are a real thing! And I had to pray several soul ties away in order to break the spiritual connection a.k.a bondage I was in after having sex. You ever wanted to know why you couldn’t break out of a toxic relationship or completely get over an ex? It’s because of the soul-tie that was formed. You need God and the Holy Spirit to break off soul-ties that you’ve formed with those you’ve had sex with however YOU make the daily decision to stay free from them!!!

I am a Standard-I know that being celibate in 2019 is not completely unheard of but what is rarer are those who are truly decided on remaining celibate until marriage. I recently was asked by a guy if I was celibate and after I told him that I was, he asked me if I was celibate “for real” or just celibate until someone comes along? He then said, “It seems like every woman is celibate until they are not”. This made me chuckle! Please, Do not be afraid to be a standard! Don’t be afraid to be a true example for others who do not think it’s possible! Some people are waiting for you to prove them right and others are waiting for you to prove them wrong.

BE A STANDARD!!!

Author, Tony Gaskins recently shared on his instagram page a question from one of his followers. The question was “Where are the men who wait for marriage to have sex?” and his response was “They are out here, just waiting for the woman who requires it and is worth the wait to them. Your man will wait for you, but someone else’s man won’t.”

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Do not be afraid to be a standard! Don’t be afraid to be a true example for others who do not think it’s possible!

-Leigh Curvin

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Today I can say I am satisfied as a single Christian woman who is healed from the past and completely whole for my present and my future. I have no regrets, my faith in God is higher than it’s ever been, and I am confident that when it’s my time to marry, it will be an amazing union to an amazing man. Until then, I will continue to be saved (for real) and very satisfied with the life God has for me.

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I hope you enjoyed this post. Until next time…

Love, 

        Leigh C

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